Mixed Emotions

Lately there has been so much going on in my life that I do not know how to feel anymore. Lost, Alone, Crowded, Loved, Mistreated, Unhealthy along with so many other feelings. Does anyone else go through the same things? It is hard for people to understand how you feel when you try to pretend everything will be okay and hide all the pain. I want my life to have meaning and I want to move forward so badly that I am confused about what path to take. When my mind feels like it goes at a hundred miles a minute it is hard to process everything and set goals to have a better life.

It is like I know other people suffer from the same things but yet I feel so alone. My boyfriend does not understand because he has never suffered from anything like this. He has lost loved ones and friends but never had something happen to himself that made his life change dramatically. I want us to have fun but yet grow up and be adults. We are both in our late twenties yet still live with his parents. I do not mind because we help them out but yet and still he need to realize I want a future not just a companionship.

On top of all the health issues I deal with on a daily basis I deal with all the stress from home and being an adult. It begins to overwhelm me and all my emotions begin to run together. I try to take care of myself but I have no energy or initiative to want to get up and change the things that I can change. Some times I wish that I could trade shoes so he can see how I am feeling and how all of these mixed emotions take over my life and becomes stressful.