I am 26 years old and I was diagnosed with a rare connective tissue disease. I wrote about some of my experience in life in a previous blog but I wanted to start spreading the word about scleroderma and how it can affect many people. Most people have never heard of the disease.
Scleroderma is a chronic hardening and tightening of the skin and connective tissues disease that has affected an estimated 300,000 Americans. Most of my information came from either my doctor; whom has been treating me for the past 5 years, and the scleroderma foundation. They do have a website that anyone is more than welcome to visit. WWW.scleroderma.org Unfortunately at this time there is no cure but everyday there are researchers who are working hard to help people like me. There are treatments and medications that can help manage the symptoms.
Every person who is diagnosed with scleroderma is effected in a different way. However, anyone who was told they had this rare condition at some point asked “Why ME?” there is no one answer because at this point no one knows what causes the disease. It is hard not only physically but emotionally. Many people become depressed and you begin to feel you have to put a smile on and pretend to be ok from the outside. If you have been diagnosed with any kind of connective tissue disease you are not alone. There are support groups in almost every state any plenty of resources to help you live with any disease.
Everyone makes bad choices growing up; sometimes even when we are adults we seem to make bad choices. I am sure I can make excuses for some of my choices I made but sitting here looking at social media and reading different things it became clear to me that I no longer want to make those wrong choices any longer. Some people will never learn from all of their mistakes so they do not always see the path they should go down. I wish I could take back some of the things I did and said to people; I would probably have a totally different life by now. However, it is those same wrong choices that led me to where I am today. That I would not change at all.
Yes I may not be exactly where I want to be in life but I can’t complain either. I have a great family and friends who are very supportive and loving. Plus an amazing man who drives me absolutely crazy at times but takes very good care of me. It is ok if you make mistakes as long as you learn from them. I use to hang out with not such a great crowed and didn’t treat people with very much respect at all, today I sit here and wonder how the hell I didn’t beat my own ass. I would never want my child to treat people the way I treated others but when you get mixed up in a bad crowed you seem to become a follower not a leader.
I lied to my parents about where I was or who I was going places with, however I am sure they knew some of what I was doing was a lie. I do live in a pretty small down but I should of never done that. My parents were pretty understanding people and let me do almost anything I wanted but I still seemed to make bad choices. After I graduated I quit my job, lost my car, started partying and drinking more than I ever did before. I got married at a young age and divorced a year later. No one’s fault but my own and I am starting to take responsibility for all my actions even if I really do not want to.
I have set a few new goals for myself and my life. I am the only one who can achieve them and force myself to become a better person. It takes making a lot of bad choices to be set on the right path.