A deep breathe.

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Why? What did I do? Questions I continue to ask myself all the time. I love my boyfriend with all my heart but it is so aggravating when he works all day and comes up eats and falls asleep. However, if his friends call or he plans something with them before he even gets home he will be wide awake and stay out all night with them. No matter how hard I express how I am feeling, to him I am just bitching and complaining. What else can I do? I give him space, I try not to text him when he is with the guys, and I tell him to go have fun. It honestly makes me feel like he can not stand to be around me. He tells me he loves me and would never leave me but it has been two years and things go from really awesome to being depressed every few months. Its like a roller coaster. I try to show him affection and please him as much as I can but it is hard to want to have sex when someone doesn’t show you the same affection. I put on a smile and pretend everything will be fine but deep down it hurts like hell. I know he doesn’t mean to hurt me and I do know he loves me. We have known each other a very long time and he is truly the most generous guy you will ever meet. But why do I feel like I am alone even when he is next to me?

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